Mimics

Now, we all know about that one butterfly that looks like a monarch and masquerades around as the monarch because the monarch is poisonous to birds and riding on those coat tails is a one-way ticket to safety in the animal kingdom. What cowardice.

This total abandonment of virtue also exists in the movie world: the plot mimic. A movie so blatantly based on the previously established glory of another movie. For my first witness I call 'every teen movie based on The Taming of the Shrew.'

I understand that things are always changing and the movie crowd is not the same, and if the singing career of Paris Hilton has taught us anything it's that trends are ultimately forgotten, so who will notice if creativity is recycled? I WILL!

Much like all treasured knowledge, the experience of certain epic movies must be passed down to this younger generation vulnerable to the sloppy seconds found on screen today. Star Wars, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Alien, the Godfather, Monte Python and the Holy Grail all things that must be passed down.

Now, before I progress, I must state for the record that I have low movie going standards. I know it. I succumb easily to boredom and stave it off however I can, and if that means going to see 10,000 BC just because it starts at the time when I need some escapist entertainment, then that's just what needs to be. But this doesn't mean that I don't have a keen eye for quality.

Today I went to see Never Back Down (after seeing 10,000 BC earlier in the morning) for reasons previously stated. Right away I could see the plot mimic and almost feel the makers of the original classic The Karate Kid almost combust in frustration.

Now, you might think the first clue was the very theme of fighting and the main star being a skinny dark-haired kid who was chosen for the part for the sole reason that he looks five years younger than he is, or the fact that this movie begins with the forced relocation of said teen heartthrob by the needs of a family member and led by a single working mother to a sunny tropical paradise and left to his own devices as he deals with the pressures of adapting his down-home American attitude to the high standards of synthetic reality. I've got news for you: it was all of those things.

But while making this realization, the small details of the girlfriend who is forced from the popular circle of the boyfriend who is king of the school and beats up on everyone and finds her way into the arms of the new kid did not escape my attention. One might also say that the viewer could predict even before it happens (and they could) that the new kid takes a liking to this girl right away and incites the anger of his royal high schoolness, the only suitable punishment for which must always be a solid beating and continued torment, the source of which no one will ever find as it is the mystery which makes high school so horrible. And even the shock of this total rip off is no match for use of the archetype of the Mr. Miagi-esque minority sensei (Djimon Hounsou) from a foreign land, possessing unmatched martial arts skill and dealing with his own issues of abandoning his homeland due to a traumatic fighting experience, who takes the new kid under his wing. Predictably, Hounsou takes a liking to him while teaching him how to fight, the end purpose always touted as being passive and never revenge, anger or righteous fury, although those are always the circumstances when said skills find their avenue of expression.

If you thought plagiarism would go unnoticed, then you may have suggested to the writers of this movie that while they were at it, they should stage the climactic face-off between these two titans at a martial arts tournament. Well, your lack of help notwithstanding, they DID IT ANYWAY!!!! Hooray! A balanced formula triumphs again!

Seriously! Now, the first question should really be, "Did you think for a second that we wouldn't know? That we would hear the Karate Kid ring true in our ears and minds as we watched this 2008 remake so obviously geared to those whose t.v. is permanently set to TNA Impact on SpikeTV?"

I understand the desire to refresh old stories and revive great old movies, but gang that is what the celebratory 25th anniversary DVD re-release is for.